Leaving a crying a child in the care of another is a truly heart-wrenching experience for any parent or caregiver. While it is easy to feel like yours is the only child who has a hard time at drop off, but you truly are not alone. To boot, separation anxiety is a natural part of early childhood development. Fret not! With patience, consistency, some expert advice and maybe an extra cup of coffee, you can help your little one feel secure and ready to embrace the day with their daycare, school, or caregiver.
We would love to support your family here at Clover Hill Children’s Center. Let us know how we can help your little one (and yourself!) feel more comfortable at drop-off.
So, what is it and is it normal?
You might ask, “what is separation anxiety? The name alone may sound daunting, but it is simply the emotional distress children feel when parted from their primary caregivers and it typically begins around 6 to 8 months—typically peaking again between 18 months to 3 years. This can especially crop up when starting a new routine such as starting daycare, school, or even switching childcare options.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, mild separation anxiety is normal and even healthy, as it signals a strong bond between parent and child. Take heart, if you’re struggling with separation anxiety it is likely that your child just loves you…a LOT. and you are their safe space. This being said, there are instances where support is very helpful. Especially in bolstering your child to help them feel more secure at morning drop off.
Practical Ways to Ease Separation Anxiety
1. Start with Short Goodbyes
Ease your child into longer separations by starting with brief periods away and then gradually lengthening those with time. A quick trip to the mailbox and back can evolve into an excursion to the store kid-free! Also, to the same end, encouraging independent play or time spent with another trusted adult can act as a mini-separation that also builds confidence and trust.
2. Create a Goodbye Ritual
A large part of working through separation anxiety is easing the transition from one caregiver to another. Repetition and consistency can create a comforting and predictable routine that a child will be able to anticipate and understand. A secret handshake, a hug followed by a butterfly kiss, or a silly phrase like “See you later, alligator!” can be excellent tools for creating a goodbye ritual that leaves children feeling secure and ready to begin the day.
Let us know how we can be part of your morning good-bye ritual here at Clover Hill! Schedule a tour today and we’ll be happy to show you around!
3. Talk About What to Expect
Read books about starting school or early childhood education settings and chat with your child about what their day will look like and when you’ll return. Books like “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn are wonderful tools for reassurance. A Harvard University report emphasizes the importance of “serve and return” interactions — back-and-forth communication between adults and children — in building healthy brains and emotional resilience. Sharing with your child the plans for their day and allowing them to share in return (their anxieties, excitements, etc.) lays the foundation for healthy attachments and expectations.
You can even create a daily events calendar with pictures to help them understand the various pieces of the day and when they can expect your return.
Many early childhood classrooms have pictogram schedules available for the children to help them see the various events of the day. Come see us here at Clover Hill Children’s Center and check out what our daily schedule looks like.
4. Stay Calm and Confident
Children can smell fear. Kidding! Children do look to their adults for their emotional cues, though. If you’re anxious or hesitant, they’ll sense it. So, really, only halfway kidding. This phenomenon is called ‘Social Referencing’ and shows that tone of voice, words, and overall body language play a large role in how children respond to their environment. (source.) So, show excitement about their day ahead — not only can the emotion be catching but it also reinforces that you trust their daycare environment.
Schedule a tour today to see our classrooms and get a feel for the environment here at Clover Hill.
5. Choose a Warm and Responsive Childcare Setting
Children feel more safe and secure when they are in a warm, nurturing, and consistent environment. A quality early childhood education program like the one we have here at Clover Hill Children’s Center will stress strong caregiver-child relationships, predictable routines, and emotional support.
We would love to be a part of your child’s learning journey here at Clover Hill. Call today and see how we might fit into and serve your family.
Keep Calm and Keep Going
Helping your child through separation anxiety isn’t about eliminating the tears overnight — it’s about building trust, consistency, and emotional security. Whether you’re transitioning into daycare, preschool, or another childcare situation, your calm, positive presence paired with a supportive environment can make all the difference.
Come see us here at Clover Hill! Schedule a tour and explore our classrooms and outdoor areas. If your child would like, bring them along to help get them excited and decrease any uncertainty they may have with starting a new school.